GATE ONE: DARKNESS

THIS IS THE END, BEAUTIFUL FRIEND

2008-01-01T06:00:28Z

duogami » battleshout

What more can I say?

Six years. Six years is a long time, and I think now's a good opportunity to be moving on. A lot of you have been with me since forever, and I can't tell you how much that means to someone like me. Whether we've talked a lot, or a little, it's been such an interesting experience babbling about my life and having other folk to read it and share it along the way. As I migrate from points A to B, I'm hoping for more of the same in a new journal, a new year.

My new account is friends only, so bear that in mind. If you want to add me, add me. If not, then don't, I won't lose any sleep over it. Just consider this a heads up when you see a new name on your 'friends of' thing.

And, no, I won't be deleting this, or anything. I'm happy to let it sit here as a reminder, or for anyone else to go through whenever they too feel like having a look back.

See you in 2008, and goodbye.

duogami @ 2007-12-30T18:53:00

2007-12-31T00:53:57Z

I'm going to cover a couple of things, and I hope that you would listen:

First of all, the calendar year's almost through. I know, I know, we've still got a day left -- and a lot of partying to do -- but since I have plans in mind for tomorrow, I'd rather get this out of the way, so my journal can end on a different note.

Normally I'm not the type to do things like this. I tend to just go "new year, big whoop", and that's about it. Maybe it's my mood, or what I did and didn't eat, or the time of day, I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I'm in a reflective mood, and I've spent my weekend sitting back and trying to think about it all, how it's affected me, and how much of a good year I think this either was or wasn't.

Which leads in to an important part of this. Was it a good year for me? I definitely wouldn't call it bad, though in my recent memory, those things don't really happen. Sure, from month to month something may not always go accordingly to plan, but I don't necessarily believe that that's what makes the year all right or not. Because that's life, isn't it? It's never perfect, and all you can do is deal with that and try to make the best out of a lousy situation. That's what I often tell myself, at least.

Not to mention that the closest thing to a shitty year would have to be 2004, anyway. Let's consider this for a couple of minutes. My ma gets diagnosed with an extremely aggressive cancer I didn't want to acknowledge, I don't start really making amends with the woman up until the near end, I'm teetering between dropping out of high school or not (although that was more of a late-2003 thing, but regardless), after mother dies I go through a lot of shit with my uncle, and so on, and so on, this is nothing you guys can't go back and read about, it's all there.

My point is, stuff like that, that's bad. That's terrible. That's a poor year. Everything before and after? Can't really compare, and I don't feel like I have the right to call those 'bad' at all. My first two years of high school might sort of count, but between some of the stupid events that happened there, there was some fun left in it, too. My memory is a little hazy and not the best ever, so I'll still go with what I've said. The twenty-some years of my life, observed fairly, have been pretty good for the most part.

And so has this one. Looking back, it's about the best thing I can say. "It's pretty good." Compared to a year ago -- and this I can recall clearly -- I know I was grumping about, and wondering why 2006 had to be so dull. It didn't really pick up until the last few months of it, but even then, I didn't find it very remarkable. I mean, in 2005 there was the thrill and fright of getting further exposed to living on my own, getting kicked out again and getting settled into the apartment, figuring out how to do certain things for the first time. We figured out what to do with my property, gave my uncle what was due (who died thereafter, which is still sadistically funny to me), and ran the legal ropes of this and that to chart the best course for myself.

It took me a long time to get used to things, and after that first year was through, I suppose the next one was me being comfortable with that. I had a routine, and while some things changed, like how I passed the time and who I talked to, it was basically a stagnant time. Dull, as I mentioned. Hardly bad, but hardly spectacular, too.

Now, though? A lot's been going on. During them it never occurred to me; it's only after sifting through each experience that I can see how it's piled up. I spent my first time in hospital last January, thusly putting an end to those health problems, and got to start thinking closely after my finances in its wake. I met a lot of new people, whether it was getting more acquainted with the LAN center crowd here in town, or getting introduced to This Person and That Person online. I've fallen in love, gotten rejected (twice!) as a result, but that also schooled me in a few things concerning myself, and as a byproduct allowed me to travel across the country as well. Of course, that's yet another event, getting to see both ends of the country, traveling alone for the first time ever.

There's other bits and pieces that probably aren't as important. What I'm trying to say is, well, I apparently got what I wanted. I know I'd hoped that the next year was going to be more interesting, or something to that effect, and life has definitely delivered that to me.

So-- was it a good year? My answer is a maybe. Possibly. Good enough, you could say. I'm satisfied with it, though there's plenty of things I wish I could either take back, or do differently, the things I shouldn't have said or acted on. That too is life, and those are mistakes you can't exactly fix, so I'm grinning and bearing them, don't worry. All I can do is keep saying that no, they won't happen again, and hold fast to ensuring I don't make the same mistakes twice. If I do, well, shame on me for being stupid, then. We live and we learn.

But you might be wondering what I'm hoping for in 2008. More of the same is all I can really ask for. With the ball rolling like it is, I hope it goes and goes, and doesn't roll to a stop anytime soon. When I get to the verge of 2009, I hope I can say all of this again, that yeah, I'm okay with it. Things have gone on, some of them were crummy, most of them were cool, and I think that's fine. I really do. I'm at a good place right now, and in my teeny tiny optimistic half-heart I'm believing that it can only get better from there.

Specifically speaking, however, all that comes to mind right now is driving. In the new year I'd like to be licensed and have a car. That's pretty much my singular goal. In a quiet moment I'd sometimes I wonder if maybe, just maybe, this (the coming one) would be the year where I finally go back to school. Since a lot of that is going to depend on timing and what's stacked up on my plate by then, I'm not going to build myself up so far that it's something to shoot for. If the circumstances are right, yeah, I'll see if I can go to university. If not, there's always next year.

I may not be getting any younger, but I'm still convinced I'll see a lot more tomorrows, so there's no need for me to fret if a plan goes awry.

With those wordy words out of the way, I just wanted to finish with a reminder that I'm going ahead and getting a new journal on New Years. Why? I've actually thought about this for the last few months, and the long and short of it is that I want a change. Not only in username, but, think about it: I've posted things in this blog-no-one-ever-reads for six years now. Six years is a lot of time when I'm still so young, and for some reason or another I can't help but wonder if I should have closed the pages on this one a while ago. I'm obviously not the same person I was in the middle of school, and honestly? I don't think I'm the same person I even was last year, or the year before, either.

It might be silly to feel that I've changed so much since my grandmother's been gone, but, really. I think I have. I'm not as sheltered -- 'as', I still am, a little bit -- I'm older, my opinions have changed on a lot of different things. I don't know if I'll keep changing, but some new digs might be a good place to start finding that out. Ultimately, I just want to start over. Reconnect with you guys, my fine friends, and make some new ones along the way, too. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's something I have to do.

Hence my plans in mind for tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I'm not deleting this by any means ... but I will throw up the new account that I'm settled on, close up shop thoughtfully, and get that done by midnight. I'm adding most of my friends back, so keep your shorts on, though I'll definitely lose some people here and there. Mostly because the journals are dead and I'm inattentive, but also due to feeling a little estranged here and there from whoever. Consider it a chance for a clean break from me, if you want. You can add me or not add me, and we'll go our separate ways, there's no hard feelings here. I have no idea why anyone's ever stayed and listen to me babble on, anyway. I'm a mess.

I think that covers everything, and I need to eat, so I'll go take care of that.

Today's been such a lazy one. I could use some of that, I think, since I've been moody off and on for several days. It'll pass, just some post-holiday blues, I guess. Nothing that chilling out with snacks and shows can't help fix. Or if not, I can laugh at myself for being more fatty fat fat fat. Poking fun's harmless if you know how to do it right.

bybybye.

duogami @ 2007-12-29T17:03:00

2007-12-29T23:04:42Z

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

fucking bangai-o boss why the shit can't i defeat you ;____________;

and your goddamn 9000000000000000 missiles you shoot at my face

(i counted)

fuck fuck fuck

duogami @ 2007-12-28T21:42:00

2007-12-29T03:42:31Z

Earlier I threw up a little in my mouth. That isn't cool ...

Lately I think I've resumed that unnecessarily lazy of waking up in the late afternoon. Or evening, which I guess would be more accurate, since the sun's gone down by then. But shorter days in the winter, and all that.

This is really only a problem if I want to talk to certain people, since they don't always share the same hours that I do. Being increasingly anti-social, however, doesn't make that as much of a big deal as it potentially could be. The long and short of it is that I don't miss out on a lot either way, so I'll keep doing this until my body decides to do something else. That's just how it is, I can't really dig up an explanation!

It doesn't feel like it's the last weekend of 2007, if you ask me. Then again, like this and all the other years before it, I don't particularly care. As it winds down I'd be glad to share my thoughts of everything. Spoilers: it's been an ... interesting one, to say the least.

Eating too much is the likely culprit for my bad mood and me rolling around the living room. Getting stuck on games is no help, so I could just clean and yell at my cat ('WHY YOU SO OSLO, OSLO ♥♥') before calling it a night. I could've slept and slept and slept some more today. Winter hibernation? With nothing better to do, maybe that idea's not so bad, and I know kick that around a lot now and then.

Am no bear. Not on the outside, anyway.

P.S. Scrubs makes me lol a lot. That show is really growing on me.

duogami @ 2007-12-27T06:45:00

2007-12-27T12:45:41Z

oh okay

thanks for crashing on me after two pages, word processor

this is what i get for breaking the dry spell

sad face ):

duogami @ 2007-12-27T01:23:00

2007-12-27T07:24:08Z

oh what the fuck

I was all set on getting a new journal for the new year -- I think I've mentioned that once or twice this month -- and I guess it never occurred to me that the username I wanted would get picked up between then and now, when I'd thought of it. I guess that's a hindsight on my part, but I just thought it'd be hilarious to have a journal registered at the beginning of 2008, you know?

But no, some shithead for an RP (at least it's Kingdom Hearts, so I can appreciate the irony, but still) had to grab it a couple months ago, and I didn't even realize. The variants were already gone, too, so I don't know what to do: either come up with an alternative in the next couple of days, or abandon the plan and get a new journal at some different point in time. Obviously I don't know which to do yet, but this is not a very fun thing to wake up to, I don't hink.

Which is too bad, since I've been having a good time? I won't talk about Christmas because there's nothing to talk about there. I went places, I played things, HOLY FUCK ~~UR MR GAY~~ SUPER MARIO GALAXY, and that's about it. Though during all that revelry, I managed to figure something out about myself -- just a personal thing, don't worry about it -- and now I've been feeling a lot better about certain silly issues. Plus I've picked up this small inspiration to fix up my computer again. This thing's a couple of years old, the vidya card isn't top-of-the-line or anything, and I can't run all the games that I'd like to run smoothly, so I'm interested in finding out how cheaply I could throw one together, buy a barebones, or do something that's better than this. Alternatively I could say 'fuck it' and buy a new television. Not sure where I want some extra money to go just yet, if at all, since I could keep saving up for things I never buy. I don't even know.

That's where I stand today. I don't feel like going back to bed (I was there for a while), so I guess I'll just hang out for the rest of the night. Who knows what'll happen. If I feel particularly ambitious I could scribble down something I've wanted to write for the last couple of days, but it's been so long since I've done anything fiction-y that it could just end in disaster. Or not. Or maybe.

I think I'm a little anxious. But that's probably the whole anxiety-mental issue-something-something going on that I experience every so often. Shit like that doesn't usually need a trigger, I just start freaking out for a few minutes or hours at a time. Don't know why I'm even mentioning that, but there you go. I'll kick back and calm down, since at least this isn't over anything specific. Just want to run around in a circle, is all, which may not be so bad when it looks like I'm packing on the pounds again.

blah blah i'm going all out

[edit] I THINK I HAS THE SOLUTION :< Though knowing my luck, people might mistake it for a World of Warcraft journal, from the username alone. I can't help it if I draw on terms from there that no one'll understand, okay.

Speaking of, I might take the time to jump back into the game, I guess. Not to see my friends, but just to take it in all for myself, try to make it fun somehow. Hell, I'm so close to rerolling Alliance, something I bet you thought I'd never say, huh? Well, times change, and a gnome/dwarf tank may or may not be hilarious. Knowing me I will do neither and jack off, because lol lesbian porn.

So anyway.

[edit x2] ... why am I so hungry still, DO YOUR JOB HOT POCKET

duogami @ 2007-12-25T13:09:00

2007-12-25T19:09:12Z

attack combo: Go make a post on LJ.
main assist: Why.
attack combo: Going "RONERY ON CHRISTMAS WANNA CYBER ;D"
attack combo: It will totally give you lols.

... ...

attack combo: Also I'm joking.
attack combo: If you do it idek.

ಠ_ಠ

duogami @ 2007-12-24T21:01:00

2007-12-25T03:01:58Z

Looking back on it all, seems like the older that I become, the more I could really do without Christmas.

Figures. I don't have much else to say about it since I wouldn't want to bring anyone down. Spending tomorrow at Warren's, as usual. I'd like to see what the Wii is all about!

Happy holidays, I'm going to beat a video game or something.

duogami @ 2007-12-23T19:09:00

2007-12-24T01:09:17Z

I was all set to make one of those meme-and-post extravaganzas, but after putting some pretzels in my face and thinking about it, I simply don't have the energy.

So ... tomorrow! Like all the procrastinators say.

I'm having too much fun playing a lot of games as usual, too. Through holiday generosity, I've got lots of things to enjoy, so for a change the words 'I'm bored' haven't really crossed my mind. That's always a good thing.

Kwishmush is almost here, I know, but I'm still not feeling it. Ultimately I'll be glad when it and/or New Years is all over, so we can kick the commercialism to the curb and getting on with our lives. Sometimes I'm more jaded than I'd like to admit.

Lost my train of thought, so I will pour myself a Guinness, pray that I can handle drinking it, and go play some Samurai Warriors. Or Orochi. Can't decide between those, though under than the game flow, they're like the exact same thing, anyway. I wish they weren't, but what can you do? It's hacking and slashing fun nonetheless.

[edit] ... am not a fan of Guinness. Too bitter. I think I prefer beers that are a little more malty, but that's just me. I'll finish the bottle anyway.

duogami @ 2007-12-22T12:40:00

2007-12-22T18:41:21Z

Post-birthday cake,

is just as good as regular birthday cake.

Okay.

duogami @ 2007-12-21T18:15:00

2007-12-22T00:15:49Z

MY SAP IS LONG, AND MY SAP IS HARD. ♥ ♥ ♥

Last year needs no introduction, I think. Off and on I've gone over all the details of how turning twenty-one was one of the best birthdays I ever had, and up until the new year, I also happened to be one of the happiest assholes around.

Why? 'cause I met advocate.

I don't think our exhaustive history needs to be covered, either. If you know me, chances are you know all about the things that've happened throughout the year, both good and bad. There's been plenty of moments where I'm none too proud of myself, 'cause I've done lots of stupid things for and around this person. Instead of regretting any of it, I'll just chalk it up to a learning experience, and 'how not to interact with women', obviously.

But, that's all right. Regardless of all that, I still couldn't ask for a better friend. I'm serious when I say this-- I'd be very hard-pressed to find someone I could trust, or rely on, or have fun with more, save either of my brothers. That counts for a hell of a lot, considering.

Just ... I've never been great with words, despite popular belief, and it's amazing that despite all my so-called dumbassery, and getting mad once in a while, we've still stuck together. And I don't think anyone has any idea how grateful I am for that. This is sap-ridden to the extreme, but really, it's incredible.

Without her there'd be no Destiny Town, and I probably wouldn't know as many of the people as I do right now, or be opened up to some new things. Maybe I'm overstepping it a bit here, but sometimes she'd tell me on occasion how I did some stuff that she could never really explain. Looking back on this year of knowing her, I think I'm going to have to say the same. It's a really cool feeling, and I'm glad we're still good friends, and that we'll keep on staying that way for a long time to come.

And, shit. Everything else'd just be repeating myself, it's nothing either of us (and the rest of you weirdos looking at this) haven't heard before.

Rika, you're wonderful, and even if I already said it, thanks for a wonderful year, and everything else. ... ... can we have Riku/Roxas porn now.

Only kidding, though we should celebrate with a little *~*~specialness*~*~ in our journals just like we used to do. Like the good old days, only with less romance and no disgusting brain worms at all. Sometimes I come across that old picture and still get a little grossed out. I can't take that stuff as well as I used to.

TIME TO GET ON THE TRAIN, CHOO CHOO

duogami @ 2007-12-21T12:36:00

2007-12-21T18:36:58Z

FUCK YOU I'VE GOT AN EXCUSE TO USE THAT IMAGE NOW

So, wow. Nothing terribly witty this year, which surprises me this year. Now I'm twenty-two, and in eleven more years I'll be thirty-three, and so on. Digits like these are sort of neat, I guess. But now I won't have anymore remarkable birthdays for three more years, apparently, when I'm settled in to this 'adult life' thing. That's when they stop making you jump through hoops for renting cars, after all, and when you're a so-called nontraditional student anymore. Incidentally I think I will be at that age if/when I ever graduate from another school. Weiiiird.

You guys are hilarious, and the well-wishes/gifts/cards (olololol fuck you cake-shark i want to eat) totally aren't necessary. I reckon I've 'grown up' enough to the point where it's not like I expect gifts and stuff anymore today. Don't get me wrong, free shit is amazing, but it's not the same as it is when you're a kid, you know? Still, I appreciate it. ♥

our grim irons: dave lordbarley: as the lord of barley, i commemorate this day as lord bearbro day
main assist: this day is the best day ever

Still holding out for putting food in my face with sergnel tonight, who is a generous man and my favorite friend, though not the only one. As for that, you'll see why later when I make some more gay posts, if I can remember to.

But, my first order of business ... ... hot pockets. You heard me.

/yay

duogami @ 2007-12-20T16:38:00

2007-12-20T22:38:37Z

Quick posts? I got those.

Since I still can't track down my Dreamcast games, I'm composing a small list of what I'd like to obtain (online) in the near future. Grandia 2 is about the only thing I could play for the long haul right now, but I'm not in a RPG mood anymore. Oh, and Resident Evil, but I'm not in the mood for zombie death, either! Go figure. Sonic is all I can think of for today, and maybe Mark of the Wolves, too. I know I had a couple others, like Crazy Taxi, I think ... research'll lead me to more games, I'm sure. It's nothing I'm throwing money down for right away, just something to think about over the next month or two.

Speaking of months and time, wow, tomorrow's here. I'll have lots of obvious and not-so-obvious things to celebrate, so I'll try to squeeze in as much as I can online. I'm going out for dinner and making myself unsober during some movies, hopefully, so that'll be good if it comes together. In the unlikely event it doesn't I'll find some weird way to entertain myself. This won't come up again for eleven more years, after all.

Incidentally, I can't remember how I celebrated my eleventh birthday. I can't remember what happened last week, either, so I guess that doesn't matter!

I probably should have said this, like, a few weeks ago, but in case anyone wondered where I was on Thorium Brotherhood, the sad fact's that I simply don't like WoW again. I know, I know, but logging in feels like such a chore, I don't want to do any quests, and even leveling in easymode doesn't seem like a lot of fun. The other day I had this wacky thought of canceling my account for now, except knowing me I'd come crawling back in another week or so. I'm playing it by ear, so don't expect to see my shaman either way.

Eh, I'd have really enjoyed the class if I played more of it, though ...

There's other things, like memes and stuff and something something and stuff, but I'll get to those at a later date. Right now I've been hungry since the dawn of time, so I'll treat myself to a hamburger and a walk to clear my head. Oncoming bad moods are never good so I'd like to avoid those however I can. Smiles and sunshine, no visits to the emo castle for me, okay?

Okay.

P.S. what the fuck ;A;

duogami @ 2007-12-19T02:01:00

2007-12-19T08:00:41Z

HEY

FUCK YOU, UTERUS

And, if I could find out where all of my Dreamcast games went, that would be great. It's one thing to be reunited with my One True Love (... of the early 2000s), but it's another to not be able to, like. Play Crazy Taxi and shit. There's nothing wrong with what I've amassed, BUT UHHH MORE IS ALWAYS BETTER

sexual, I want to talk to you about an RP tomorrow if I don't sleep for a million years. I'm not much of a robot after all.

Is that it? I think that's it. I don't have anything else. I'm waiting for a package to come so I can start sending things out.

YEAH

THAT'S ALL

[edit] HEY DUO PROOFREAD YOUR POSTS DUMBASS

duogami @ 2007-12-18T20:51:00

2007-12-19T02:50:11Z

Yeah, I don't feel like updat--

--AWW SHIT

duogami @ 2007-12-17T14:38:00

2007-12-17T20:37:05Z

Last night! I had this dream of going to a meeting with a bunch of rag-tag military rebels for whatever reason. Who knew I could be such a mercenary? But since I was late, and they'd already started, they put me in a dress after the meeting was over, and my girlfriend laughed at me. That's what I said, girlfriend. Apparently in my dreams I can have a girlfriend, too. Sadly she didn't have a familiar face, so I guess instead of being anyone I know, which would be funny or neat, she had to be Random Girl #345 who I'll never meet in 'real life'.

Did I mention the dress? I haven't worn a dress in over ten years, shit. Never again. You'd be lucky if I even said yes to an outfit that came from the so-called women's department. Hi, I'm masculine.

If you're wondering what this has to do with anything, it doesn't, but the only other things to talk about are how my teeth hurt less, or how hard it is to find certain things online. I've been combing through sites for about half an hour trying to find some specific gifts to send out to people, except I keep running into prices that are too high, or stuff's just out of stock. Fucking holiday, though that's what I get for putting this off and doing it now, I guess. Shit sucks.

Doubt I'd find 'em in any regular old store, either, so I can scratch that off of my search list when I go out in a while. Yeah, outside. Yeah, that's incredible. I'm not a total shut-in, you know!

But I'm tired, and wouldn't mind going back to bed all over again. Not to mention that I'm not completely out of the woods, since I still get those 'pain waves' from time to time. They're not severe, though, so that's about the only plus I've had today so far. Sure beats being the emotional mess I was last night, which was stupid.

In closing, DEAR NEIGHBORS I STILL DON'T LIKE YOUR PHAT HIP-HOP BEATS, YOUR FACE WILL DIE

duogami @ 2007-12-16T18:30:00

2007-12-17T00:29:23Z

Too much whining in my journal. Let me reiterate some points: dentists, dental plans, a newfound aspiration, okay. I'm sick of spending weekends in pain and not being able to enjoy the company (or games) that I have as much as I should. I don't like it at all!

So, that's what I'll be investigating further this week. I also need to order money -- as usual -- and hunt down a couple of gifts for somebody. If I can accomplish these in a timely manner, I'll be happy with that.

And now for something that doesn't make me happy. In fact, I cried. A lot.

I'd like to be like this cat, too.

I should finish scrubbing my stovetop off while I still feel like it. Tonight'll probably be an early bedtime for me since I got so little sleep, though that wasn't something I could control. stupid fucking body

duogami @ 2007-12-15T13:56:00

2007-12-15T19:55:49Z

∑(O_O；)

I THINK IT IS SNOWING

duogami @ 2007-12-14T15:59:00

2007-12-14T22:02:50Z

guess who is upset for no reason at all (ಥ﹏ಥ)

... well, not really 'upset', not after yesterday when everything suddenly made sense. Today, though, today makes me yell and growl at things and I'm not sure why. Vidya gaems? I snarl. Websites going offline? I pitch a fit. World of Warcraft? Yeah, I get pretty irate. Even my cat, who's done nothing at all besides tear apart the toilet paper, which happens once a week anyway, so whatever ...

Oh, and now there's the typical noise from the upstairs neighbor, too. I need to go shank somebody and feel better about that, I guess.

If only. It'd be nice to swing a sword around like in my favorite things that I watch and play, and not have any silly repercussions like 'dealing with policemen' or 'going on trial for murder'. Some folk just need to die, okay--!

Granted, my worldview is not everyone else's worldview, and I am probably weird.

I'm going to go try and make an emulator work. plug-ins and more plug-ins and BIOS files and ugh

[edit] "Don't look at me like that! I am a serious man!"

duogami @ 2007-12-13T14:21:00

2007-12-13T20:20:43Z

duogami @ 2007-12-13T09:12:00

2007-12-13T15:11:22Z

Japan has some fucking complicated watches, I swear. I really don't see how it's just as easy to tell the time on them. Too much thinking ...

I need a day off. Not that I ever do anything, but ever since I woke up, I've been in the shittiest mood. Rather than let that reflect anywhere, I think I'll keep to myself. Some space and some junk food will probably improve everything, I'm sure. It must be the time of year, my memories, stuff like that. Always passes, so soldiering on is all I can do. Nothing to worry about.

Incidentally I'd still like a complicated watch. Most of them look cool as hell. Maybe I'll save some mon-- ahh, who am I kidding!

[edit] ... it's hard to stay blue when you listen to Stuttering Craig sing about Vampire Rain, though. Hahahalgjdsf I gotta watch it again.

duogami @ 2007-12-12T20:37:00

2007-12-13T02:35:55Z

I maek post.

I'm actually thinking about getting a new username for the (upcoming) new year. I don't know if I should pay the money to rename it, or just start fresh, which is what I'm leaning toward. Six years, the more I think about it, is long enough, and I'd like to start over with certain friends getting to know them better so ... I'm not sure. Need to give it some more thought, consider a new paid account and a shitton of icons, and so on.

This is not a very exciting month, I don't think! I'm pretty sure I didn't mention before, but that trust account of mine from way back when is almost ready to go. The thing is, though, they want the money that's already sitting in my bank account(s) right now, and I don't like that kind of thing. I've asked when I can expect to get any of that back since, you know, I've got dynamic bills to pay, and I buy something to eat almost every other day, because preparing in advance is for disasters and weird people. I'm still waiting to hear back, so we'll see what happens there. Having some false income of some sort would be nice, I have to admit, and working would make that even better.

It's something that's on my mind, though, what with having to renew my lease soon, and everything. The future, what I'm going to do, where I'm going to be ... I keep saying to myself that next year I'll try go to university (finally), that I'm all set on some potential career choice(s). But then I start talking myself out of it like I always do, saying I won't be able to handle deadlines and stupid shit, that I'll crack under the pressure, I won't be a great 'professional writer' or 'network technician' or whatever the fuck I do after graduating. I wish these were simple choices but I can never figure out what I want for myself, besides immediate enjoyment. That one is pretty easy for me.

Speaking of enjoyment, I need to go cook right now or THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO DIE

My fingers are like ice, would you like to feel them? I swear, if I see one more day without the sunshine around here, I'm going to be pissed, since too much of a good thing can be, well. A bad thing. Whomever's doing a rain/snow dance out there needs to stop, 'cause we don't need it anymore.

On my way now. Don't expect more content for a week.

duogami @ 2007-12-10T22:15:00

2007-12-11T04:15:15Z

"do yu ever eat pretzel rods and pretend they are bear dicks?

i bet girl bears do"

duogami @ 2007-12-06T15:01:00

2007-12-06T21:02:49Z

ಠ_ಠ

the dumpster has icicles

duogami @ 2007-12-05T06:25:00

2007-12-05T12:25:51Z

oh my shit i just want to send sexual some text messages at school

THIS IS EXPLODING